Well it was certainly a laugh, though I think I was cursed cause every person I made a deal with got killed not long after I met them.

I dislike D&Ds lack of limb removal! Look at the regenerate spell, there is no use for it and if you've seen 300 or ahy good gore fest, removing limbs is as bread and butter to violence as blood and intestine (mmmm...curly sausages) so here's my idea...

Critical hits do extra damage because they hit a critical location or hit deeper and harder than a normal hit so this suggests removing a limb, hitting an artery or breaking a bone or major nerve/tendon. So limb removal should have something to do with the critical hits. Here is the suggested table- When you score a critical hit roll a D Percentile and consult the table below:

100 Head (removal of which if using slashing weapons, crushed if bludgeoning, labotamised if using piercing)
97-99 Face (eye removal or severe harm and disfigurement)
94-96 Neck (cause severe bleeding 1 HP damage a round till healing achieved)
89-93 Chest (superficial harm no extra effects but there is a bad scar)
87-88 Collar (broken is the result, -2 on all rolls to use arms until healed)
85-86 Right Arm (removal of which)
81-84 Right Bicep or forearm (-1 on rolls to use that arm till healed)
78-80 Right Hand (removal of which, can still tie shields to limb but cannot use that hand for holding weapons unless special one is made)
75-77 Lose a finger (roll a D6 reroll results of a 6, Thumb is 1 and go along from there for the numbers of the others)
73-74 Left Arm (removal of which)
69-72 Left Bicep or forearm (-1 on rolls to use that arm till healed)
66-68 Left Hand (removal of which, can still tie shields to limb but cannot use that hand for holding weapons unless special one is made)
63-65 Lose a finger (roll a D6 reroll results of a 6, Thumb is 1 and go along from there for the numbers of the others)
61-62 Puncture a lung (must make Fort save each round DC5+1 per round passed to avoid passing out as if drowning)
60- Heart (you die, that's it, ignore this result with slashing weapons unless they're being used to stab)
56-59 Broken Ribs- -1 on all rolls based on arms until healed but only after the current fight.
54-55 Disembowel (person can fight but heal checks cannot save the person, they are a dead man walking and they will need a Cure Critical or better to survive)
45-53 Abdominal fleshwound (no extra effect)
39-44 Leg Flesh wound
37-38 GROIN (Fort save DC = Damage delt divided by 2 or fall unconscious double bleed out rate)
34-36 Right thigh (reduce speed by 5 ft can't take run or charge actions)
31-33 Right Shin (same as above)
29-30 Right Kneecap (can't use that leg)
27-28 Right foor/shin (removal of which)
24-26 Left thigh (reduce speed by 5 ft can't take run or charge actions)
21-23 Left Shin (same as above)
19-20 Left Kneecap (can't use that leg)
17-18 Left foor/shin (removal of which)
1-16 No extra effect but anywhere on body you like

How critical hits work: If you get a critical threat make the roll to confirm, take the number you beat the targets AC by and you can add or subtract that number from your result when you roll the D percentile.

Example/ Marcus is swinging for a Barbarian Warrior, he makes his attack roll with his Gladius and gets a 19, critical threat, he rolls again and gets 14, with his attack bonus of +6 that's 20 over all, the barbarians AC is 16 so it hits and the result has +/- 4 to the result. He rolls 8 on his D percentile so he can have between 4 and 12 as his results. These just result in him doing the normal extra damage and can choose where it's done.

With the "Called Shot" feat which I've made up it works as follows- Take a -2 penalty on your attack roll to double the number you can add or subtract yo your result when a successful critical is made. Prerequisites- BAB +4 or Sneak Attack/Sudden strike class feature.

By the way all this stuff is just the Draft, it's had no play testing and I just wrote it in under an hour off the cuff.

Seems like the Roman game is catching some momentum so I'll describe it:

Roman in style but not precise cause I'm not a bloody Historian and nor will someone who knows the history better tell me whaat should be changed, screw you, my game, bite me.
It will be heavily militaristic so your characters will have uniform equipment and will do as you're told or be lashed, burned or executed for insubordination, this includes being a smart mouth.
Magic Items are rare if not unheard of but mythical beasts can exist.
Wizards don't exist in the culture and sorcerors are witches used by barbarian hordes, as are druids.
Favoured souls and sorcerors who use only abjuration and divination are the spirit seers, these are nearly entirely women.
Priests are clerics and priestesses and they will not be given much in the way of armour.
Paladins are either elite troops for the various temples and will have their holy powers resricted (including manditory use of the variant paladin in complete warrior), or sometimes commanders of men
Fighters will get more skill points and more skills to chose from
Ride and Heal are manditory
Magic healing happens but is not commonly available.
This will be a combat based game but there will be plenty of other stuff.
Rangers (complete warrior variant) and Rogue and Scouts and Knights are acceptable but I need to check over some stuff first.
Mounted combat will happen! Archery will be usefull!

Ideal player content:
1 Paladin/Knight/Commander http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ex/20030906b
1 Spirit Seer (could have healer instead if players are limited)
1 Healer
Rest as Fighters
1 Rogue/Ranger/Scout/Mounted cavalryman

Items:
Breastplate
Tower Shield (heavy wooden for the healer, light wood for scouts and cavalrymen)
Short sword, javelins and spears
bedroll and other equipment

This is all you will have no more no less, unless you get promotion.

Races:
Humans! No exception
The mounted cavalryman position can be swapped for a centaur at higher level, this is an accpetble ECL and extra race, but the rest are considered mythical beasts.

If you don't like the army there's always Gladiators!

Okay well Easter break's here and what will I be doing?
Work! But at the new job I have, I'm a store clerk for Simply Pleasure, a fully licensed highstreet adult store where my responsibility will be just about everything once I'm on shifts on my own. Who better to sell porn and sex toys to the general public than a pervert!
So what else is going on? Well I wanna run a game during the easter break cause otherwise I'll be bored when I'm not working. So anyone who reads this find everyone who is in Liverpool during this easter break and contact me so I know the best day (may run more than once a week) and who's interested.
It'll be either 7th Sea or D&D depending on which holds more interest.
The game ideas are:
D&D- Plane of air based, high magic, little item content, islands and such.
D&D- Low Magic low items, Roman Empire soldiers, chariot racers or gladiators
D&D- Draconomicon heavy game
7th Sea- Invisible College (inventors and scientists trying to escape the inquisition with help from their zany inventions) themed game or possibly Rialscierie (underhanded social and violent bomb plots and assassination attempts), if not these then Explorers society doing runs into a synerth temple, raiders of the lost ark style.

Okay I'm sparked, to be phrased in a more precise way I am as sparked as a man wearing wet copper armour in a thunderstorm whilst singing the "I'm an athiest and I'm okay" song.
Why am I so sparked? Well my brother visited on Saturday and he was able to round up my feelings and description of the person who such things are directed towards in two wonderfull words.... "Cluster fuck!"
It was Friday afternoon, I was stood outside the AJ waiting for Jenna to get the car so I could get my brother from the Train station. Matt Crouch was coming along and Dave was not far away talking to Ben about stuff. I got a call from Phil who said "Hit Dave for me he left the house unlocked again". By unlocked I mean he closed the door letting the weak and old Yale lock be the only thing between burglars and all our valubles. We have a hard to pick old fashioned lock available and an alarm system, Dave never uses either!
So I hit Dave with a glove and tell him to use the freaking locks no joke, he stutters and stammers with an excuse then in his childish way says "Well it's my house too, I can leave it unlocked if I like."
WHAT THE FUCK! SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK!
Okay I know I've already pointed out to him how retarded that statement is but I'm going to do it again for all you folk out there.
So just because one third of the house is yours it's perfectly okay to leave it and the other two thirds of the house that aren't yours totally prone to burglars?! If you leave the door open the burglars will somehow know it was you and just steal your stuff? FUCK NO! They'll steal mine and Phils stuff first! And our stuff is rather valuable. "Oh but the yale is enough to keep the house safe" you may think and say? I say this to thee.
The Yale is the most commonly used lock in Britain therefore any criminal knows atleast three ways to unlock it; one- punch out the glass next to the door, reach in and unlock. 2-Drill out the core. 3-Kick it hard because they're weak.
The other lock is built into the door and older therefore harder to break and the alarm is usefull to. So you slim minded forgetful Clusterfuck, lock the fucking house otherwise I'm going to leave your room locked and set up a ladder outside your window with a big sign reading "Steal from this room" on the top on it.

Sundays game this week was Bridge of the Gods, run by Andrew at his house. So how did it go? Well I shall summarise:
-My Geomancer (arcane focus) mage turned a Very Old Green Dragon into a Gecko midflight so it landed on an army.
- Later she turned a huge Demon into a tiny gecko which then vanished
- I had to sit there whilst Al sent one of his two characters off into the huge flying fortress of the enemy through an impenitrable shield and got to the power core inside and blew it up in one hit without making a role or coming across any form of resistance, this thing didn't even have guards! Seriously sterotypical idiot villains just piss me off, for the love of Theus give the heroes a challenge!
- This sorceress survived this damn explosion by being able to cast a teleport spell in a fraction of a second rather than the usual standard action without using Quicken spell...casting spells takes time! You can't do one in the time it takes for an explosion to happen.
- I had to quickly find a 20th level villain to represent the Big Bad Evil Emperor so Dave could duel him one on one. First was the Warlock who killed him without taking a single hitpoint of damage or even breaking a sweat.
- So I had to stat a Disciple of Dispater for him to fight so it was Martial vs Martial. This guy bitch slapped Dave to death three times despite Dave getting several Heals from a different character.
- After all this (which took to midnight), Andrew ret cons the whole thing and will stat a push over encounter so Dave can have the glory of fighting the Emperor and winning. Seriously the care bear attitude (and the fact Dave told me Al was cheating by turning his dice over to get number he liked and Andrew doing the same) was making me ill and angry. Why doesn't Andrew just say "Okay guys don't roll the dice you win" because the stuff inbetween is pointless if there's no risk of failure at all.
- When the Warlock was fighting them Al was annoyed that a Warlock could have a fighter without breaking a sweat because he can turn into a Swarm that's immune to weapons and would sarcastically say "So Pyka saves the day" since she was the only surviving arcane caster. HYPOCRIT! You fucking Hypocritic glory hound! Your Sorceress just flew into a huge flying tower and one shot killed it with the assistance of the most powerfull spell caster of your nation, the queen of it no less and you have the nerve to say that I win the day! Not to mention Andre was clearly playing favourites with you, making it so certain enemies couldn't die so one of yours could "Look Cool" by doing what legolass did to the Elephant thing in LOTR. I'm sick to death of this "Look Cool" attitude, learn to lose a character or that they can die because sometimes either the enemy gets lucky or they have the strength to beat you. You guys need to play call of Cthulhu or in a game where you can Die just because it happens.

One session left of this campaign so I can't wait for it to be over, I've got other ways to waste my time other than being wrapped up in "La la we're superheroes ranting about our coolness" cotton wool and carebear land. Why don't I leave? Simple, I don't like leaving things unfinished and I can endure, not play, endure one more session of this game.
Feel free to comment on this.

The title isn't ironic like my usual stuff, I'm just going to treat these journals as something serious for this one post because I want to say something.
In all of the stuff that's been going on as of late it's got nothing to do with those. Not many know my family but this morning I learned that my Great Grandmother Ellie Dawson, aged ninety two years eleven months and one week old, has died. She was my oldest relative and I've been ready for this day for a while now, she's been in a home for a while and within the past three months her senile dimentia got worse and worse, she had her good days and bad, her bad days were when she couldn't remember my grandfathers name or who he was, a good day was when I visited before Christmas and she was reasonably lucid despite her weak physical state.
I'm just going to say a couple more things on this subject. My great Grandmother was a very good person and one worth remembering for me at least. She lived alone for many years of her life in a bunglow on her own despite being in her eighties, and when we got her to go to a home when she couldn't do her housework she got a boyfriend but he died a couple of years ago so she's had to deal with a lot of loss over the years yet she kept going.
My final thought on the matter was the state she was in at the home, the home had several individuals with senile dimentia, they were confused and one just sat there saying "Yes Please" over and over again. I'm planning what's gonna happen to me, if I get anywhere near dimentia I will go to Africa, find a Hippo and kick it in the balls until it mauls me to death, I value my mind and I don't want to get to that point, I'd rather go out with a bang.

Goodbye great grandma, I love you.

So what's sparked off this entry? Yes I make entries whenever I get something to spark me into wanting to say something. Well here we go:
I'm sat here and no more than three minutes ago (1:44am) I got a loud and by the rate and nature of the knocks quite panicked or important ones at that. So my head goes to full alert and I tell Dave to enter, he does so, I ask what's up and he says "I was going to ask something important but I forgot it between leaving my room and knocking on your door." To point this out to you this is a total distance of twenty inches or less. Eight to nine feet if you go from his computer to my door.
I have been known to forget things by going up the stairs in a rush, but this? This takes the cake, the biscuit, the gatteux, the merringue, the cheesecake, the truffels, the trifle, the fruitcake, the pancakes, the Victoria Sponge, the waffles, the Battenburg, the pop tarts, the assorted fruits and nuts, the icing on the cake, the marzipan on the cake, the now rather naked cake (again with cake), the mousse, the semolina, the rice pudding, the tiramissu, the after dinner mints and the freaking cheese and wine course!

So with that out the way what else has gone on, went to the anime soc J-Pop party, didn't dance, had one drink, chilled on a couch and talked RPGs with folk, particularly Dom then went home, kinda hoped Neen would have come with me but I missed my chance to ask her, she kinda vanished once the do was over.
Before that? Nothing much so I'm just gonna sleep and tomorrow (or later today if you want to be a Chrono-fascist....and no they are not Fascists with magical time travel powers) I shall go to RPG soc.

Okay I'm hungover right now so if I make any mistakes i.e. less than accurate portrayals of what happened yesterday or general spelling and gramatical mistakes then remember this....bite my ass and find it tasty.
So what happened to make me hungover? Well I shall tell thee with the fond memory of last night let us begin with when I woke up that morning:
I woke up...it was ten, I had shower, shave blah blah, happy and hopefull of the night to come for I had tickets to the CAMRA ale festival and I was going to go with Neen and Dave and Phil and Gaz and Laura, and it was RPG soc day.
At RPG soc what happened? Well the session went sort of well, spent the whole of it in Florianas home town where her family house got set on fire by the inquisition. So they ran way and that was pretty much that.
During the game I got a call from Ale soc, the tickets they sold us were just promisary notes and they had sold more notes than they had actual tickets, so I had nothing to do that evening and I had been so charged about going since I've tried for two and a half years to go. So without anything else to do Neen and the others went to go watch girly films as an anti Valentines thing (didn't bother me, I disagree with Valentines on principle). So without anything to do I readied to go home and sleep or something when Dave said there were two tickets left and we could have them. So to the AJ we ran and fled, with thoughts of ale dancing in my head. The tickets I grabbed and to the festival I ran and once inside I got £20 worth of tickets (to keep the money in one place you buy a sheet with 50p squares on it and when you get a beer they mark off some of the squares and if you don't use them you can get your money back) and me and Dave did the following:
Listened to the rock band they had, twas a good band
Drank plenty of ale
Ate beef meatballs with mash and gravy
Ate cheeses (goats milk is retched) they had on sale
Chatted to an IT consultant who gave Dave good advice about being an IT guy
Missed the Blueberry and raspberry ales which was a shame but one called "Cherry Bomb" was delicious, like liquid sweetened and 6% alcoholic battenburg.

So now I'm hungover and feeling a wee bit motion sensitive, but I am glad I went and now I shall pour onion gravy down Daves pants.

So how is today? Today was full of good and win. Started the day with some guys who fixed the heating system, cooker and fitted a new electronic timing device onto the boiler.
So what elese happened? Went down to Praxium and showed Dom my character ideas for his game (all eight of them) and chose the Warlock at the end, so playing one of those should be fun.